I'm wrestling with how to respect authority when I strongly disagree with authority.

It seems like, in order to make myself respect them, I deceive myself into thinking that they really aren't that bad. So I tell myself lies to escape being critical. But there always comes the time when I'm faced with the truth, and, as my deception fades, I'm aghast at the things I see happening.

Tom seems to be able to face reality while still keeping a gentle, respectful heart. I really admire him for this. When he comes home and tells me details about certain situations, he stays calm while I flip out. I realize the fault of my deception and scream about how horrible the situation is, but he stays non-critical because he's never deceived himself about how bad things are. He's just chosen to be respectful despite the reality he sees.

I want to be like that, but it's hard. I'm angry at the things I see. And I'm sick of trying to ignore my anger. I'm sick of chalking it up to my naivete. I may be young, I many not have lived as long as the others, I may have too many idealistic goals. But crap, I know some basic principles about the Kingdom. At least enough to know when some things are just dead freaking wrong.

I'm glad I have Tom though, to push me toward the maturity I lack, to teach me how to be honest about the world while still loving the world, to help me to receive all brokenness with compassion and to treat all anger with love. I'm not sure how long it will take for the Lord to instill purity into my heart and make me more aware of the planks in my eye than the splinters in my brothers. But I'm willing to let him work, and I trust His ability to complete that work in me.