This morning, I actually fought to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus during church, and as a result I was immersed in the Lord's spirit during worship and the sermon. I usually go through church half attentive/ half distracted, and I leave feeling like I missed out on so much. But this morning, on the way to church with my parents, I was reading "Heart Ablaze" by John Bevere, and it really broke me. And I walked into the church building with the awareness that God deserves more than I usually give Sunday mornings. For the first time in awhile, I truly truly feared Him. Praise the Lord.

Hearing about a recent wedding this morning made me even more abundantly grateful that I am marrying the most amazing man in the universe. I love Tom's heart, and I am SO blessed to be marrying a man with a heart like his. I am marrying a man with the heart of David! How could I ask for more? He does have more though... he's the most loving, most humorous, most endearing, most adorable man ever. And he is my best friend. I am blessed beyond measure. "Oh Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance!"

While I'm talking about Tom, let me share something from his last email to me:

another thing that i am learning is how the Lord is really concerned with our character more than anointing. its hard because so often i feel like i am unanointed and thus he doesnt like me or care for me as much as others. but i feel like the truth is he is far more concerned in our discipline and our faithfulness - why would he care about our anointing anyway? its all from him in the first place - so character is where a true man is made. it is hard for me to bear but i think that might be the biggest lesson of this past year for me.

Amazing. And so true. And the funny thing is, Tom is anointed(yes I'm talking "charismatic-like" here). He doesn't always believe it when I tell him, but I know he is, even though the fruit of the anointing isn't yet evident. He is like David, with the anointing from Samuel yet suffering through war because he has not yet received the anointing at Hebron. But he is correct, the Lord cares SO much more about our character than our anointing! And watching the Lord instill character and discipline into Tom the past year has been amazing. He is a totally different person than he was when I first met him. And if I loved him then, just imagine how much I love him now.

I tried to make bread again. This was my third time trying. Did it rise? Nope. I used the right amount of yeast, kneaded it as well as I know how to, set it in a nice warm place... and it stayed the same size. If anything it got smaller and denser and just plain uglier! I'm not trying that again. If I want to make bread, I'm going to have to invest in a breadmaker.