God has been teaching me a lot about His love lately through Tom. I had never thought to look to Tom for a glimpse of the Lord's love, and I see that now as sheer stupidity. "God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God" - and therefore any ounce of true love coming from Tom is coming from Jesus. Plus, and perhaps most importantly, in less than a year Tom and I will be entering into a union that is declared to be a symbol of the relationship between Christ and His church. Tom is to love me as Christ loves His church... and he does. And in that love, I've been seeing tangible evidence of God's love.

I forget the love of Jesus. A lot. I know theoretically that He loves me, but when I mess up and struggle I still think He stops loving me for awhile. And thinking that makes me mess up more because I lose sight of my whole purpose for doing good. And in the end, I'm destroyed. Losing sight of the love of Christ leaves me dead inside. But I still forget it. A lot.

But I never forget Tom's love. Sure, I may pretend that I forget it when he does something "guy-like" and doesn't give me the (incredibly large) amount of attention I need, but I never truly doubt Tom's love. Even when I am a selfish brat and throw a fit about some incredibly stupid thing, he still loves and loves and loves. I see his love for me in everything he does. And lately, I've started to look for Jesus in that love.... and I've been blown away by it.

Jesus brought me breakfast in bed Wednesday morning. He bought me a food processor, then patiently dealt with me as I decided to exchange it for a food steamer and then cried and refused to accept anything because I didn't have the money to buy a gift in return. Jesus told me at lunch, over and over again, how beautiful I look today. Jesus mowed my lawn for me today without complaining about it and then told me how he loved doing it because he loves serving me. Jesus is in every act of Tom's love. He drives Tom's love for me.

And so, when I forget Christ's love for me, I'm going to start looking at Tom more. Because if Jesus loves me like Tom loves me, than man oh man am I loved.

And the funny thing is... He loves me even more. Much, much more.