This week has been filled with fear. And excitement. And peace. And more fear.

I am so, so bad with change. So scared of the unknown. So afraid that God will forget to be faithful when I am faithless.

Tom and I laugh at a pre-school picture of me. It was made into a button, and for some reason I've kept it throughout the years. The picture was obviously taken by a man(I have always been afraid of older men, for some unknown reason, I wasn't abused or anything), because I wasn't really smiling, just curving my lips up shyly and looking ahead with big eyes. Eyes that saw everything to fear in the world.

And I still so often feel like that little girl inside. So afraid of this big, big world that seems so strange and unknown to her.

Until Jesus grabs ahold of me. And then, somehow, I have peace. Peace that comes out of nowhere and negates all my understanding. And it gives me hope.

And so this week has been a roller coaster. But I really have so much to be excited about. I am back in school! I have freedom! I'm not tied down to the horrific and life-sucking 8-5 routine! I don't have any morning classes! I get to hang out with my dogs! And my husband! And my neighbors (if they have time for me)!

And so I'm excited and happy. And scared and emotional. And everything in between. But Jesus has been really good to me lately, and I'm trying to hold on to that. And hoping that he keeps holding on to me when I let go.